Banned because this old fart resents the idea that he pigged out on Mama Luigi's homemade chili and rendered the stage invisible to audience members at the rear of the hall.... remember: hot air rises and heavy air sinks.  So there!

Banned for straying into the great outdoors without your survival kit, a cool drink of bourbon, lime and soda, your sunscreen and your pith hat... I mean, what are you going to pith in?

banned for not wanting me to sleep 

Banned for yawning on the job and starting a yawn contagion that hampers productivity.

Banned for advocating floaty bits in beverages that begin with B and end in R.... not to mention robbing the taxman of the opportunity to rob me blind at every booze shop on every purchase.  Back in the day, when Guy Fawkes was a boy, that would have been called sedition and you'd have copped a public flogging for your troubles.

Funny thing, now that you mention it, I'd already decided to purchase another brewing kit.... to rob the bastard taxman of his cut on booze shop prices.

Banned for the uneffective affectation.

Banned for bannig that is behind the times like a time zone to the west.

Banned for shaking up the snow globe and making it snow inside the house. 

Banned for projecting blame.  Make your own day.

Banned for making the rabbits deranged.... and would rabbit stew be considered an aphrodisiac, given what rabbits do best?

 Banned for not knowing that Bugs Bunny got his name because he was riddled with fleas.

Banned 'cause the fleas are protesting unfair treatment at the circus, they can't bite just Anybody anymore.

Banned for whining about the flea-host non-discrimination legislation pushed through by the left-wing politicos that does the exact opposite of what it cliams it does, just like all lefty policies.

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Banned for quoting yourself because you love the sound of your own voice.... the hype of your own type.  Besides, what are you doing away from the coalface in any case?  Now get back to work and don't let us catch you sciving off to write dirty ditties on the toilet walls again.