banned for mocking those that need their parents

Banned because the net-nannys are ubiquitous, and they are watching.

Banned for nannies under the bed instead of the requisite monsters.

Banned for thinking that wet nannies are playthings who can be trifled with when the missus and kids are asleep.

Banned for rifling instead of trifling and shooting the neighbours above-ground pool all full of holes.

Banned for never having a firm grasp on the plot and going off with the fairies every so often to yank the chains of unsuspecting pixies who truly have a great grasp on their undercarriage while flying high above the clouds in age old zeppelins of the unledded variety.

Banned for musing about self-adoration and groping the gristle when the butcher has such lovely beef snags [sausages] with 95% meat while, in truth, supermarkets sell fat sausages with 0.5% meat in undersized recycled bullock foreskins that were originally intended for the Middle East until Somali pirates waylaid the vessel in transit and said it was the worst cat they'd ever eaten.

Banned for not updating this thread for 3 days

Banned for Starkersesque banning.

Banned for preferring to miss out on the best bits.... and pretending it isn't there doesn't mean it'll go away.

Banned for moonlighting as a nitpicker whose tweezers catch very few nits but thousands of Itchycoo Park tadpoles that come to the surface when they see the big bulging eyes of very small faces peering into the pond of Afternoon Delight with the hope of catching a glimpse of the dancing frog from The Butterfly Ball at the end of each Lazy Sunday afternoon.

Banned for falling off the wagon and landing here, making wild assumptions about who did what to whom, when in fact it was you who took off his mask and scared the bejesus out of those with lesser constitutions and more than frail sensibilities.