You are given a wide variety of newly-developed superpowers. Unfortunately, it's a beta release and there are still a few bugs to work out. Flight™ v0.9b has an altitude limit of four feet. Lightning Bolt™ v0.61 occasionally ignites the user. Shapeshift™ v0.113 periodically attaches an extra spy hand to the user's face. Other powers have a tendency to backfire unpredictably, with often tragic hilarious results. Please remember to file a bug report if you encounter any fatal instabilities.

I wish my family would stop watching Alf episodes when I'm trying to write.

You now have your wireless internet back and its named sexy beast.  You named a wireless internet sexy beast and now can never have sex with a human female.

I wish Neil Gaiman still wrote the Sandman.

O was that directed at me?

granted. You live a happy life. Unfortunately your crush's Credit Score is so low that you are rendered homeless and peniless. the Two of you become hermits who live in the mountains and shout at all the City Folk below. suprisingly the both of you live to be 180 years old and have no regrets.

I shall wish for more shenanagins in this forum!

This is a hard one, cant realy make it worse if you dont wanna see your family.... unless...

Granted, your family wont bother you until they die! Thats until you meet them once again in heaven where they bother you for the rest of eternity 

I wish i was the most attractive man in the world!

Your boss calls you to tell you that you have a day off for free. You do however miss that hot 23 year old secretary giving a strip act in the lobby.

I wish my shrink could fix all my mental problems in a week.

You get all the money in the world, but because of energy shortages the only valid currency is oil. Since the only oil you own is the cheapest brand of massage oil from Walmart you realise that you are still the poorest man on earth. On the plus side, money makes for excellent toilet paper.

I wish I actually owned a car.

Granted, you get a slice of the apple pie which was used in the movie American Pie.

I wish I could sleep for 12 hours without losing real life time.

Granted, but family friends and collegues all call you Sedna and ask you for a heal every 40 seconds. Also, you grow boobs.

I wish nerds would be considered sexy.

Wish granted nerds are now considerd sexxy. But because of girls new labode towards nerds, the stupid, idiotic, jocks actually have to get jobs and fill in the post of the smart nerds, that have left them to be with the hot Russian and Swedish Chickies doin the horisontal monster mash. So now when you call tech support you can't acomplish any thing, whwhen you go to the mechanics nothing gets ficked, and the seats of power are filled with idiots.

I wish that Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, and all those other stupid Disney channel Celbrities would die. Not just a heart attack but something painful. Also they don't get a big rememberence or funeral like Mikeal Jackson, they don't @#$%ing disserve it! 

Granted. Having seen the movie as it was meant to be (in a theatre btw), you are amazed, and go around saying it was the best monster movie ever made, and often go off on tangents about how awesome you think the movie is. On one of these tangents, you get completely immersed in you speech and don't notice Godzilla standing right behind you. Your preference of Cloverfeild over his movies  infuriates Godzilla, and he eats you.

I wish I 50% less socially akward.

i wish i was a