Attention ... Attention ... this is to inform all of Borgdum that Lunch Convener of Borg has had his implant in the cookie jar again. Please refer to your user guide for hints and tips on how to deal with this sort of behavior. Here's a trick I use to dissuade Lunch Convener of Borg from dipping his implant in the cookie jar.
Works every time.
I am hopeless of Borg, assistance is futile
I am Democrat of Borg, taxation evasion is futile
I am Republican of Borg, Obamacare will not be assimilated
I am Independent of Borg, my biological and technological distinctiveness will never be added to the White House
I am Welcome Mat of Borg ... don't wipe your feet on me again or I'll have to sic starkers of Borg on you with his best starker bark.
I am starkers of Borg ... yeah and I'll throw in a couple of iTunes to really mess with your head.
I am iTunes of Borg ... please refrain from such or I'll have to sue you for fifteen million dollars.
I am the RIAA of Borg... and I have become the most ridiculous organisation on the planet for seeking 1.5 million from a single mother who has no hope of ever paying.
I am The Anarchist of Borg. When all else fails anarchy is not far behind. Sooner or later, maybe five years, the 'Other' voice will be strong enough to stand against two old fuddyduds who don't know the difference between their backside and a hole in the ground. A two party system is no system at all. You got the black and the white but you ignore all that gray stuff in between. That is where the 'colors' are. Black is the absence of all color and white is just the opposite, all of the colors are in there. Two places , two parties. No middle ground to balance them. Can't be done.
Left hand washes right hand or vice versa and they both wash your face. The Independents have no voice, no say in the matter. They are too few in numbers, for now. That may not last long if the so-called Tea Party is any indication. What starts out small has a tendency to get very big. If the Independents got a little more serious and less cautious, to a point, they could do some damage! Something to think about.
I am 2of3 of Borg ...... My blinds bigger than your blind ... my blinds bigger than yours ... my blinds bigger 'cause it eats Ken L' Ration ... my blinds bigger than yours. Haaaaaa ha ha ha ...... simply could not resist.
I am Precipitation of Borg... and I have been p!ssing down on Queensland in Oz for more than 40 days and 40 nights.
I am Saturated of Borg... yeah, you bastard, now my implant is all shriveled and full of wrinkles due to being water-logged so long.
I am Receding Waters of Borg ...... Buh Bye.
I am Poseidon's Insurance Adjuster of Borg ...... We have re-po'd his Trident due to excessive use.
I am Misfit of Borg.... stupidly went swimming in a swollen creek and now my implant is stuck in the grate of a stormwater drain.
Yeah, you wouldn't credit it.... idiots jumping into swollen and fast running creeks and rivers... puts a strain on emergency/rescue services at a time when people are at extreme risk through no fault of their own. Some were arrested... hope the cops and courts throw the book at them.
I am Search and Rescue Chief of Borg... sorry to inform you (not really, stupid) but your implant is firmly wedged and the only way to get you out of here is to cut it off.
I am Implant Replacement Monitor of Borg ........ no worries mate. We'll give ya one that'll rock your socks or sock your rocks. whichever one comes first.
I am Drenched of Borg... somebody up there has an implant of Biblical proportions, and it's leaking... send up some Depends before we have to swim down the street to buy the paper.
I am Slightly deaf of Borg ... shouting is futile
I am Inundator of Borg ....... HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!! dem gonna thrash me to a pint of mine life!
I am Sunshine of Borg ...... I'm comin' ... I'm comin'. I just gotta get these damn clouds outta the way. They're so stubborn.
Hehe, Doc, that ark looks like it had a run-in with some pirates.... with all them cannonball holes, the only thing keeping that thing afloat is all the methane trapped below decks.
I am City Sanitation Chief of Borg.... and people, we have assimilated all the water we can for now, so anybody needing to pee, you are asked to hold on to it until the flood waters have receded.
I am Chief of Bladder Control of Borg ...... I'm short handed enough thank you.
I am Scout Leader of Borg.... if you are that short-handed, Chief Bladder Control of Borg, I can show you how to tie a knot in it.
I am Altzheimers of Borg.... my designation is seven of.... of....something..... wait...no... ..ah....
I am Grandpa of Borg.... went into Social Security the other day and they told me that my implant is entitled to a pension now that I'm retired.
I am Grandma of Borg.... and while you were there, did you ask them for back-pay on the unemployment benefit you should have been claiming on it for the last 25 years?
I are UnSlacker of Borg ....... starkers of Borg, you are in violation of Article 69.69 and 1/3. I suggest you remedy this aforementioned undersight forthwith and right now. But don't tell the missus I said so. She'll hurt me.
I am Dirty Stop Up of Borg.... and it is waaaay past my bedtime (5.48am) and I'm off to bed for some shuteye.
Night John Boy.
Sleep tight and don't let you know what bite.
I am Arisen of Borg... tho I'm still not sure if I'm awake yet.
I am Mr. Sandman of Borg... you do realise, Arisen of Borg, that you can never catch up on the beauty sleep you missed, don't you?
I an Arisen of Borg.... are you suggesting, Mr. Sandman of Borg, that I need ALL the beauty sleep I can get?
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