I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg.... I did not order all those sex dolls, believe me.  No, it was my depraved room-mate whose afraid to assimilate with real women because he's embarrassed about the size of his implant.

I am Marigold of Borg.... I dunno why he's embarrassed about the size of his implant. I accidentally walked in on him in the shower.... and, and, and at first I thought he was practicing the three-legged raced in there.

I am Dr Kinsey of Borg.... seeing as you people seem so preoccupied with implants and assimilation, I was wondering if you'd like to volunteer for a study I'm conducting into Borg sexual habits.

We are Masters and Johnson of Borg... we have covered all of that already.  Dr Kinsey you only want to do this to satisfy your perversions as you watch them through one way glass with implant in hand.

I am Houdini of Borg... who needs super stym.... my implant still assimilates from the beyond.

I am Paul McKenna of Borg.... that's nothing, I hypnotised my implant to assimilate while I'm asleep.

I am David Copperfied of Borg.... that's nothing also, my implant can assimilate while I am in another room.

I am Inspector Clouseau of Borg... so Monsieur Copperfield, you admeet eet could very well 'ave been your implant who assimilated Mademoiselle Fifi in 'er dressing room while you were steel on stage.

I am IRS Man of Borg... UPS Person of Borg, I hope you are charging Disgruntled Viewer of Borg tax on all there items.  People might have the opinion that assimilation is free, but that is not so when the assimilation occurs with devices made by corporate taxpayers for to sell to sales tax payers who sell them to other tax payers.  We WANT our cut.

I am Casanova of Borg... David Blaine of Borg... you are so far up yourself you're pink on the outside. That's nothing!!!  My 97 year old great grandfather can assimilate with his implant in a glass on the night-stand beside his false teeth.

I am Italian Stallion of Borg.... so what, my 110 year old great, great grandfather can assimilate 2 women in at the same time while in a hammock and the light on.

I an Xaviera Hollander of Borg... you guys are all tame compared to the circus act I dated once.  He liked to assimilate on the high trapeze doing mid-air somersaults and triple spirals while he serenaded me on the violin.

I am ...  LINE PLEASE!!

I am Mastermind of Borg.... I can master any mind except my own.  It wants to keep playing silly buggers while I'm trying to concentrate.

I am Agent Smith of Infernal Affairs of Borg.... are those sex toys I see you with Disgruntled of Borg?  If so, please place them in the evidence bag and proceed to the assimilation chamber for further interrogation

I am Casanova's Butler of Borg... I am sorry, MariennaSkye of Borg, there are no longer any links available.  Mr Casanova tore up all the invitations and has turned it into a private orgy.

I am Head of Preventative Medicine of Borg... please be aware, Casanova's Stand-in of Borg, most of those fillies have not been innoculated for the dreaded lurgy Commander Worf accidentally brought back from the Cardassian Wars.  Assimilating with these fillies could result in a dry throat and huge welts on your implant.

I am Head Chemist of Borg.... Ahem, Head of Preventative Medicine of Borg, it will be okay for Casanova's stand in of Borg to play with those fillies. I have developed a vaccine for the dreaded lurgy Commander Worf accidentally brought back from the Cardassian Wars, but it has side effects..... an allergy to women and impotence.

I am Sleazy Internet Pharmacist of Borg..... I have these nice little blue pills that cure limp implant going cheap.... very cheeeeeap.  Give me your email address, Casanova's Stand-in of Borg, and I will send you endless amounts of spam for Viagra of Borg and/or Cialis of Borg.... starch of Borg if you need that extra little bit of help.

I am Grand Poobah Splitzledick of Borg.... I have decreed all assimilation to be outlawed unless I am the one doing the assimilation.  Exception to this decree is when wrinkly old sow of a wife of mine wants a bit... then she can go to Super Wizop Inkerbiggle Humpherdingy, whose implant is more suited to that terrain.

I am Barredup Dingledangle of Borg.... Hey, that decree just isn't fair.  I just signed up for assimilation lessons with 7of9 of Borg and she gave me a 10% discount for an unused implant.

I am Peeping Tomasina of Borg.... how can you say your implant is unused Barredup Dingledangle of Borg??  I saw you through a gap in your bedroom curtains, giving it a right old tug with that smelly boxing glove on your hand.

I am almost falling asleep at the computer of Borg.... I'm off to bed now.   Wake me at a quarter to assimilation and bring my breakfast on a tray with the morning edition of the Implant Gazette.

I am now wide awake of Borg.... where's my f**ken breakfast?

I am Redneck Sam of Borg... get out of it, Backwoods Person of Borg, I dun don't need no competition vyin' fer thu affacshuns of mah sistah.

I am Sister of Sam of Borg.... whar do yah get off saying that, Sam, if'n I wants sum of what Sandra Bullock wus havin' I'll have me sum Jesse James an' thar ain't nuffin' ya'll can do 'bout it.

I am Clerk of the Court of Borg... Redneck sam of Borg... did you know that incest is illegal in this state?

I am Redneck Sam of Borg.... that don't matter none 'round here none.... Pa' done hates thu goddam smell of that stuff in thu house anyhow.

I am Yellow of Borg... yer outta luck, Blue of Borg.  Redeneck and I here with our hands all over each other squeezing orange.

I am Green of Borg... just so's they can't go sweep it under the carpet and pretend I don't exist, I am the illegitimate child of Blue and Yellow of Borg.

I am Rainbow of Borg... I've been into the pants of every colour, so it could well be I'm yer daddy, Green of Borg.

I am off-white of Borg...  apparently I'm the product of mixed marriage

I am Gray of Borg.... and feeling a bit off-colour today. Talk about hangovers, the heart beat on that ant over there sounds like somebody banging on a big bass drum.

I am Pink of Borg.... quick, get me off this elephant, it's embarrassing.