I an Mrs. Claus of Borg... and the real reason Santa ain'y makin' it this year is because he forgot to take his Viagra and can't get his 'sleigh' up.

I am Impatient of Borg.... orright, Procrastinator of Borg, you've had more than enough time now, wots the story, then?????

I am Game Show Host of Borg.... if Procrastinator of Borg does not get his reply in before the buzzer, his turn will go to the next contestant.

Hiya Doc... how's it going?  Bin too bloody quiet 'round here lately, 'aven't it!!!  Us needs ter take a blunderbuss t' that thar landlubbin' entertainment occifer an' git 'im ter think up summat in'trestin' fer us.

My wife was Lucretia de BORG -ia  .. she was so ugly you could see the bruises where she had been touched with 10 foot bargepoles ... 

( ..not really , just clutching at straws for an interesting reply .... hehehe ! )

I am Titus Arsus of Borg.... I am so tight I squeak when I walk.

I am Chief Banker of Borg.... so you're saying that you're so tight I can't assimilate your money?

I am Inland Revenue of Borg.... you know, death and taxes... your choice.

Nah, that produces more of a barking sound (from a bloody enormous rottweiler)

I am Tony Abbot of Borg.... according to opinion polls it seems I will assimilate Australia and impose my puritanical views on everyone.

I am John McEnroe of Borg... and nobody ever out-rants me.... EEEEEEVER!!!!!

I am Ozzy Osbourne of Borg.... Hey mam, where the *bleep* is this *bleeping" raving going on, Cos I *bleeping* well wanna join in the *bleeping* fun?

Oh, and Grandpa whatcha m' callit....

I an Tongue Tied of Borg.... and I've gotten myself in an awful predicament trying to say your name... thank goodness for typing.

I are Redeneck of Borg.... I dun never uzed a spell chequer cos I dun finnished 3rd grayde an' mah teecher sed I dun good.

I am Head Surgeon of Borg... if you are seeing your 'implant' right in front of you face, wee person of Borg, you have definitely got the wrong one.  Please come in and see me about a more manageable replacement.... something that makes feel less like you're hiding behind a telegraph pole.

I am ADHD of Borg and taking Ritalin is futile.....

I am Mekanik of Borg......I can fix that...I think. Do you have insurance cause I don't come cheap.